'                            COTILION-A-ROO 1997
'                probably one of the worlds most comical rpgs


'            An adventure within a dinner-dance (is that possible)


'  Look for Brian Q Programming's other Qbasic games, windows adventures,
'  zzt creations, web pages, batch files, cards, and caluclator games. 



'  Look for games about: X-Files, Star Wars, Youth Group, and the Olympics
'                      all coming within the next year

'      --BRIAN Q PROGRAMMING:WE'RE NOT STUPID--JUST REALLY FRICKEN CORNY--
COLOR 2, 1
CLS
LOCATE 12, 25
PRINT "Welcome to Cotillion-A-Roo"
LOCATE 23, 21
PRINT "Press any key to get Cottionalized"
1 key$ = INKEY$: IF key$ = "" THEN GOTO 1

CLS
LOCATE 5, 5
PRINT "The object of this game is to avoid the fat guy and to bring"
LOCATE 6, 5
PRINT "Slappy to victory.  Also, you must catch the giant hand."
LOCATE 7, 5
PRINT "Watch out for Grinding Killer Youth Group Leader Mary Beth."
LOCATE 8, 5
PRINT "Beware, she's armed and dangerous"
LOCATE 23, 25
PRINT "Hit a key to go on..."
3 key$ = INKEY$: IF key$ = "" THEN GOTO 3

4 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 1-AVOID FAT UGLY GUY"
PRINT "The fat guy slobs over to you.  Hey, what should you do now."
INPUT "KILL him?  BITE him?  DANCE with him?  THROW something?"; fatguy$
IF LCASE$(fatguy$) = "bite" THEN PRINT "your nasty.  But it works!  You go to level 2.": SLEEP 15: GOTO 5
IF LCASE$(fatguy$) = "kill" THEN PRINT "Your knife can't reach through all the fat!  Your taken out!": LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
IF LCASE$(fatguy$) = "dance" THEN PRINT "He eats you! Your his 10:13 pm snack.  I wonder who's his 10:14 snack!":  LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
IF LCASE$(fatguy$) = "throw" THEN PRINT "You throw a bone!  He goes after it and you go to level 2.": SLEEP 15: GOTO 5
GOTO 4

5 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 2-BRING SLAPPY TO VICTORY"
PRINT "Slappy is desperate.  He needs someone.  It could be anyone!  Can you"
PRINT "help Slap-Man and let him catch the double!"
PRINT "Do you DRAG an ugly girl/guy/it over to him..."
PRINT "Do you DANCE with him yourself (this could get ugly!)"
PRINT "Do you PUT a wig on the fat guy..."
PRINT "Do you OFFER someone money to dance with Slappy..."
INPUT "Well, what is it?"; beef$
IF LCASE$(beef$) = "drag" THEN PRINT "Slappy has a great time with whoever.  It works!": SLEEP 15: GOTO 10
IF LCASE$(beef$) = "dance" THEN PRINT "Slappy goes a little too far with you.  Oh,no...":  LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
IF LCASE$(beef$) = "put" THEN PRINT "He never knows the difference.  It works!": SLEEP 15: GOTO 10
IF LCASE$(beef$) = "offer" THEN PRINT "They won't even do it for money!  Too bad!": LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
GOTO 5

10 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 3-CATCH THE GIANT HAND"
PRINT "The DJ guys are throwing foam hands at you.  You gotta get one!"
PRINT "Do you...STEAL one off of somebody."
PRINT "Do you...put the DJ at GUNPOINT and demand one."
PRINT "Do you...ASK Slappy for his."
PRINT "DO you...HIRE Slim Jim Zim to get one for you."
INPUT "What do you do..."; job$
IF LCASE$(job$) = "steal" THEN PRINT "It works and your happy.": SLEEP 15: GOTO 15
IF LCASE$(job$) = "gunpoint" THEN PRINT "While your attempting this the fat guy starts dancing with you.  Oh no!": LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
IF LCASE$(job$) = "ask" THEN PRINT "Slappy starts dancing with you!  Oh,no the night's history now.": LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
IF LCASE$(job$) = "hire" THEN PRINT "Slim Jim gets on for you.  No one knows how but it cost 10 bucks!": SLEEP 15: GOTO 15
GOTO 10

15 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 4-AVOID MARY BETH-GRINDING KILLER"
PRINT "This is the Hardest level.  Your lucky you've survived this long."
PRINT "Now it gets hard.  Mary Beth is after you-and Erin.  She's jealous."
PRINT "You can HIRE Slim Jim again to kill her or something."
PRINT "You can get her to DANCE with the fat guy."
PRINT "You can get PACO and Mary Beth and Laura altogether for something."
PRINT "You can get SLAPPY to join in with Mary Beth so she won't feel left out."
PRINT "You can give her a giant HAND to make her occupied with herself while you..."
INPUT "What's it gonna be buddy..."; last$
IF LCASE$(last$) = "hire" THEN PRINT "Slim Jim comes through.  Is that good?": SLEEP 15: GOTO 20
IF LCASE$(last$) = "dance" THEN PRINT "Not even Mary Beth would dance with him.  She finds you.  Oh, boy!": LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
IF LCASE$(last$) = "paco" THEN PRINT "They all leave early.  Ok.  I guess you win.": SLEEP 15: GOTO 20
IF LCASE$(last$) = "slappy" THEN PRINT "Slappy won't do it.  Something with older people???": LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
IF LCASE$(last$) = "hand" THEN PRINT "It's not big enough for her so she sees you!":  LOCATE 15, 5: PRINT "YOU LOSE!": END
GOTO 15

20 CLS
PRINT "YOU WIN!!!  Slappy is happy, Mary Beth is busy, who knows what Paco is"
PRINT "doing and over all SLIM JIM is RICH!!  Jen and Erin are grinding to the"
PRINT "floor and Slappy has found his true love!  FroMan is going nuts and"
PRINT "the camera man thinks these people are crazy.  The DJ loves the "
PRINT "turnout of the giant hand distribution.  So it ruled!  And that's all"
PRINT "that really mattered, right?"
LOCATE 15, 20
PRINT "Another Brian Q Programming Production!"
END