'                           COTILLION-A-ROO 98:
'                         The Return to the Floor
'                   The Sequel to Last Year's Adventure

'                        by Froware Software 1998

'                           Hit SHIFT-F5 to play


'            "...This game is more [bleeping] funnier than all
'                    those other gay games they've made."
'                              -Some guy I don't know

'              Part of the 'Summer of 98 Collection Series'

'      FROWARE SOFTWARE-Our name isn't redudant; we are.
COLOR 15, 4
CLS
LOCATE 11, 34
PRINT "It's back..."
LOCATE 12, 31
PRINT "COTILLION-A-ROO 98"
LOCATE 17, 10
PRINT "Join Joel & the gang for an all NEW youth group adventure"
LOCATE 20, 13
PRINT "'You'll laugh your pants off!'-another guy I don't know"
LOCATE 22, 15
PRINT "Hit the space bar to play..."
SLEEP

CLS
LOCATE 10, 1
PRINT "It is recommended that you have played last year's Cotillion-a-roo"
PRINT "but it is not necessary.  All you hafta do is just pick the best choice"
PRINT "for each situation (just like last year!) and you win!!  You'll be facing"
PRINT "danger in all directions.  There's 10 levels this year as opposed to last"
PRINT "year's 4.  For the first 5 levels, 2 answers are correct. From 6-8, there"
PRINT "is only 1 correct response out of 4 choices.  But on level 9, you must get"
PRINT "the right one out of 5 choices!!  And I'm sure you don't want to know"
PRINT "about level 10!!!!  Good Luck and DON'T LOOSE YOUR PANTS!!!"
SLEEP

COLOR 3, 6
1 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 1-DON'T GO CRAZY WAITING FOR JOEL"
PRINT "Time-7:07 pm"
PRINT "You are BRIAN"
PRINT "Situation-Joel is not here yet.  Melissa and Lisa are driving you crazy!"
PRINT "How should you avoid this disaster!!"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Walk around (watch out, there's people)"
PRINT "2-Sing a song to yourself (please, this could get ugly)"
PRINT "3-Punch some ugly guy near you (hey, that guy looks gay)"
PRINT "4-Run outside and take some laps around the parking lot (go for the gold)"
INPUT "Tough one!  What do you think (1-4)"; level1%
IF level1% > 4 OR level1% < 1 THEN GOTO 1
IF level1% = 1 THEN PRINT "Look out! A wave of people run over you.  You can't hold it!!  You die!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level1% = 2 THEN PRINT "Oh, no!  People laugh, others walk away!!  You're embarrassed to death": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level1% = 3 THEN PRINT "The dude thought it was some other guy & you watch some innocent guy die!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level1% = 4 THEN PRINT "You may have made a groove in the pavement, but you didn't go crazy! Good job!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
SLEEP

COLOR 14, 0
2 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 2-CONTACT: JOEL"
PRINT "Time-7:19 pm"
PRINT "You are LISA"
PRINT "Situation-Joel finally came.  Now, get those tickets, so we can get in!"
PRINT "What should you say?  Demand?  Ask?  Plead?  Your choice..."
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Hey Joel, give me the [bleepin] tickets so we can get the [bleep] in there!"
PRINT "2-Excuse me, Mr. Peters, but can I have my ticket like now?"
PRINT "3-Dude, we need those things, you know those things"
PRINT "4-I want my ticket, man!!!  Pleeeeaaaaaaasssse!"
INPUT "Tough one, hommies, what do you think?"; level2%
IF level2% < 1 OR level2% > 4 THEN GOTO 2
IF level2% = 1 THEN PRINT "Joel kicks your [bleepin] ass!!  You die!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level2% = 2 THEN PRINT "Joel looks at you funny and with a shake of his head he give you the ticket!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level2% = 3 THEN PRINT "Good think Joel knows that teenage language!  You get the ticket!!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level2% = 4 THEN PRINT "People laugh and throw a diaper at you!  You die of embarrassment!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
SLEEP

COLOR 8, 15
3 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 3-FIND THAT TABLE!"
PRINT "Time-7:28"
PRINT "You are BRIAN"
PRINT "Situation-Tables 18 and 19??  Where the hell is that?  Am I going insane"
PRINT "Where is it????  What should I do!!!! [bleep]"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Shout JOEL!  JOEL!  JOEL!  (Man, is that [bleepin] loud!)"
PRINT "2-Ask some dude that looks important (hope he's not gay)"
PRINT "3-Act like you know where you're going checking everywhere (look out!)"
PRINT "4-Run crazy looking (watch out for waiters)"
INPUT "Which one, buddy"; level3%
IF level3% < 1 OR level3% > 4 THEN GOTO 3
IF level3% = 1 THEN PRINT "The music is too loud & some Russian guy looks mad.  You're considered dead!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level3% = 2 THEN PRINT "Ok, its embarrassing, but at least you got directions.  Look, there's Jooooel": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level3% = 3 THEN PRINT "You calmly walk around.  After circling 100 million times, you find the table": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level3% = 4 THEN PRINT "You run worried, hit a chair, flip upside, land on a girl, and...and...you die!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
SLEEP

COLOR 7, 12
4 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 4-MEET DUDES FROM ST. PHILLIP THE APOSTLE, SADDLE BROOK"
PRINT "Time-7:44 pm"
PRINT "You are MELISSA"
PRINT "Situation-Well, we're meeting the dudes from St. Phillips.  They seem"
PRINT "like a nice bunch of dudes.  But we don't want to come out like a bunch"
PRINT "of dorks.  What should we do so they know that we're not pyscotic,"
PRINT "dillusional, or gay!!!!"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Just sit there and smile (nice teeth, dude)"
PRINT "2-Don't move at all (freeze tag, you're it!)"
PRINT "3-Run up there and talk using profantitys and racist talk (you [bleep] hole)"
PRINT "4-Get up, go over there, laugh, talk, be yourself (yourself? not good)"
INPUT "Easy one, right?"; level4%
IF level4% < 1 OR level4% > 4 THEN GOTO 4
IF level4% = 1 THEN PRINT "It works. They think you're ok, and stuff, so you survive.  Ok.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level4% = 2 THEN PRINT "They actually begin to believe you are a statue.  Weird.  You petrify.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level4% = 3 THEN PRINT "They hate you now!!  [BLEEP]  Then some dude shoots you!  You are dead buddy": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level4% = 4 THEN PRINT "As scary as it sounds, it works!!  They think you're cool.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
SLEEP

COLOR 15, 1
5 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 5-PRE-DINNER FUN"
PRINT "Time-8:13 pm"
PRINT "You are BRIAN"
PRINT "Situation-Dinner's on its way.  Let's make this some fun.  Music anybody?"
PRINT "But what to request?  Who should we make fun of?  Hey, that dude got an"
PRINT "orange shirt!!"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Go to the DJ and request The Beatles (I want to hold your hand, huh)"
PRINT "2-Tell some of those old fish stick jokes (he wanted to get to the other side)"
PRINT "3-Scream on the top of your lungs HEY LET'S ROCK!! YEAH JOOOOOEEEL [BLEEP]!"
PRINT "4-Ask the waiter something weird (hey, what's your waist size again??)"
INPUT "Rock and roll, dude, what do you think?"; level5%
IF level5% < 1 OR level5% > 4 THEN GOTO 5
IF level5% = 1 THEN PRINT "Well, he plays it!  Groovy man, groovy.  Rock on, baby!!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level5% = 2 THEN PRINT "Everyone laughs!!  Amazing!  (Don't you love 6th grade humor?!?!)": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level5% = 3 THEN PRINT "You get kicked out!! [Bleep]  Then in the parking lot, you get run over.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level5% = 4 THEN PRINT "He gets mad and spills bread on you!!  Everyone laughs at you.  You die!!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
SLEEP

COLOR 5, 2
6 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 6-STUFF DOWN THAT MEAT, JOEL!!!"
PRINT "Time-8:59 pm"
PRINT "You are JOOOOOEEEEEEL"
PRINT "Situation-Hey, you're hungry!!  Find out how to get the most of those"
PRINT "yummy chicken parts, potatoes, fish, green beans, and bread and stuff!"
PRINT "Figure out the best way to get it all and fast!!"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--   (remember only 1 right one now!)"
PRINT "1-Yell!  Hey waiter!!  Give me my BEEF!!  (roast a-la-fro)"
PRINT "2-Take it off other dude's plate (They'll never know...)"
PRINT "3-Eat it all as fast as you can so no one else can(hope you got the barf bags)"
PRINT "4-Stuff it in your suit jacket.  (A chicken leg found is a chicken leg earned)"
INPUT "Meat, anybody?  Which one (1-4)??"; level6%
IF level6% > 4 OR level6% < 1 THEN GOTO 6
IF level6% = 1 THEN PRINT "He ignores you for acting like a [bleeping] moron.  You die of starvation!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level6% = 2 THEN PRINT "Brian sees you and throws his knife in you!  You're dead!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level6% = 3 THEN PRINT "You eat so fast you hurl all over yourself!! You die of embarassment!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level6% = 4 THEN PRINT "Hey, it works!!  You've got snacks for later and it's all good stuff!  Groovy!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
SLEEP

COLOR 11, 0
7 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 7-WATCH THOSE AWARDS!"
PRINT "Time-9:46 pm"
PRINT "You are BRIAN"
PRINT "Situation-You want to see the awards, huh?  Well, shorty, big dudes, are"
PRINT "in the way.  Figure out how to get up and see our proud get that plaque"
PRINT "thing!!  (I thought that a plaque was like teeth stuff?"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Jump up and down over and over again   (boing boing boing boing)"
PRINT "2-Grab a chair so you can see over everyone (nice furniture)"
PRINT "3-Crawl down and get to the front through the bottom (look out!)"
PRINT "4-Jump on some dude's back (he may not mind?  hope he's not gay!)"
INPUT "Which one, buddy?"; level7%
IF level7% > 4 OR level7% < 1 THEN GOTO 7
IF level7% = 1 THEN PRINT "You can't keep it up!  You trip!!! Ahhhh!! You die": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level7% = 2 THEN PRINT "It works!!  No one notices so you don't get in trouble!!  Groovy!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
IF level7% = 3 THEN PRINT "You crawl into some girl.  She doesn't seem amused.  Uh-oh.  You're dead!!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level7% = 4 THEN PRINT "He's really fruity and enjoyes it!!!  Ahhhhh!!! Help!!! Jooooeeeel!!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
SLEEP

COLOR 0, 15
8 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 8-ROCK ON DUDES...LET'S DANCE!!"
PRINT "Time-10:35 pm"
PRINT "You are LISA"
PRINT "Situation-Dude!  This is groovy, man!  You wanna get the cool dudes and"
PRINT "have a ball.  Where should you go and what should you do to have the most"
PRINT "fun.  (this isn't gay or anything)"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Get Melissa and just stand there (nice shoes!)"
PRINT "2-Walk the floor in circles, over and over and over and over and over..."
PRINT "3-Dance with Melissa (that'll bring them over!)"
PRINT "4-Create a mosh pit and maybe that'll bring all the fun"
INPUT "Level 8, huh?  Good Luck!"; level8%
IF level8% < 1 OR level8% > 4 THEN GOTO 8
IF level8% = 1 THEN PRINT "Nobody comes by you and the dance sucks.  Ungroovy.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level8% = 2 THEN PRINT "You ruin your shoes by this and can't dance!!  [BLEEP!]": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level8% = 3 THEN PRINT "Some guy shouts DYKES (dikes?) but everyone else things you're cool!!  Groovy!"
IF level8% = 4 THEN PRINT "You get squished and squashed!!  Oh, no!!  You is dead, buddy!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
SLEEP

COLOR 14, 2
9 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 9-DANCE ME!"
PRINT "Time-11:40 pm"
PRINT "You are BRIAN"
PRINT "Situation-Ok, You're ready to go out and sow your wild oats.  Joel says"
PRINT "'Hey dude, go dance.'  Groovy.  Find you're spot on the floor and do your"
PRINT "[bleepin] thing!!"
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Do the FRO dance (how'd that go again?)"
PRINT "2-Tell those jokes on the dance floor (not the fish stick ones!)"
PRINT "3-Run throughout the people (get ready for the jump to light-speed)"
PRINT "4-Go up to some girl and say Austin Power Quotes (yeah, baby, yeah!)"
PRINT "5-Dance next to someone you don't know (maybe it'll be fun)"
INPUT "Big one!"; level9%
IF level9% < 1 OR level9% > 5 THEN GOTO 9
IF level9% = 1 THEN PRINT "The FRO dance is hated amongst these people!!  You're stonned to death!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level9% = 2 THEN PRINT "Nobody can hear you due to the blaring music.  You're then stepped on!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level9% = 3 THEN PRINT "You crash into some fat guy.  Huh, oh.  You're lunch!!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level9% = 4 THEN PRINT "She slugs you in the stomach!!  Ouch!! [Bleep!]": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level9% = 5 THEN PRINT "Hey, it works!!  Groovy!  People think you're friends or something.  Cool.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "SUCCESS!!"
SLEEP

COLOR 2, 6
10 CLS
PRINT "LEVEL 10-LET'S GET THE [BLEEP] OUTTA HERE!"
PRINT "Time-12:13 in the [bleepin] morning"
PRINT "You are JOOOEEEEL!"
PRINT "Situation-While waiting with the dudes for Brian's dad to come you start"
PRINT "to hallucinate.  Control what you see and save the day!   Do the most"
PRINT "sane thing so other will think you've just had to much fish."
PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--"
PRINT "1-Shout 'Storm Troopers? I must warn the others!  Oh No!!'"
PRINT "2-Start singing 'Go Tell It on a Mountain'"
PRINT "3-Disco Dance in the Parking Lot"
PRINT "4-Shout 'Great, kid!  Don't get cocky.'  Then, make a bowel movement.  Ugh."
PRINT "5-Start a Conga Line and have Elton John requests in the front."
PRINT "6-Say 'I've got places to go, people to do.'-to your wife."
INPUT "For the win, you pick..."; level10%
IF level10% < 1 OR level10% > 6 THEN GOTO 10
IF level10% = 1 THEN PRINT "Hey threepio, you're told 'shut him up or shut him down!'  You then die.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level10% = 3 THEN PRINT "Hey Travolta, you suck! You're run over!! You have convulsions, then crook.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level10% = 4 THEN PRINT "Clean up on aisle 2!  You're either gay or retarted!!  You have 'die'arrea!": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level10% = 5 THEN PRINT "Oh, man.  You are [bleepin] weird.  You look up and a TIE Fighter shoots you.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END
IF level10% = 6 THEN PRINT "Your wife hits you, takes the car, and leaves.  Damn.  You need a bus.": LOCATE 19, 37: PRINT "FATALITY!": END

CLS
PRINT "YOU HAVE WON!!!!!!!!"
PRINT "Congrats on winning one of my toughest games.  You're [bleepin] groovy"
PRINT "The Cotillion was a huge success!!  This game tells it all.  It's based"
PRINT "loosely (very loosely) on actual events.  Stay tuned for more of my cool"
PRINT "games about Star Wars, The X Files, The Olympics, and South Park."
LOCATE 19, 20
PRINT "Another Froware Software Production!"
SLEEP

CLS
PRINT "And now, for the credits..."
PRINT ""
PRINT ""
PRINT "Cotillion-a-roo '98"
PRINT "by Brian J. Frugis, Jr."
PRINT "Programming"
PRINT "Brian J. Frugis, Jr."
PRINT "Debugging"
PRINT "Same [bleepin] dude"
PRINT "Beta Version Testing"
PRINT "Lisa Frugis"
PRINT "Completed between April 14 and April 20 1998"
PRINT "Froware Software Production Crew..."
PRINT "Brian (programming)Boner-(senior editor), Dick-(advertising)"
PRINT "(no relation to Boner)"
PRINT "Many Special Thanks to..."
PRINT "Joel Peters, CYO, St. Anne's Youth Group, St. Phillips Y.G., my parents"
PRINT "God, my sister, The Cotillion Restuarant, my 8th grade English teacher."
LOCATE 22, 15
PRINT "Thanks so much for playing!"
END

'Final line count-290 damn, that's [bleepin] long!