' RALLY IN THE VALLEY-A-ROO 3: ' Bill's Quest to Save Westwood ' by ' Froware Software 1999 ' Hit SHIFT-F5 To start the game... ' Join the Youth Group of St. Philip's Church plus one crazy youth ' minister, a dude named Bill, and one wild Good Friday gathering. ' You decide what to do and how to do it--it's your adventure! Be ' sure to be careful: success will bring you enjoyment and memories ' while bad choices will bring you embarassment and even death! Good ' Luck and have fun! ' LOOK FOR COTILLION-A-ROO '99--the second sequel to the classic game ' of being the life of the party at an arch-diocesian dinner-dance!! ' FROWARE SOFTWARE--Our name isn't redundant; we are COLOR 14, 5 CLS LOCATE 11, 27 PRINT "RALLY IN THE VALLEY-A-ROO 3:" LOCATE 12, 26 PRINT "Bill's Quest to Save Westwood" LOCATE 15, 30 PRINT "Froware Software 1999" LOCATE 13, 24 PRINT "The Prequel to Cotillion-a-roo '99" SLEEP CLS PRINT "Hello, friends! Welcome to Rally in the Valley-a-roo 3. If you don't know" PRINT "already the 'a-roo' ending was used on all of our games until too many" PRINT "people got annoyed. It was at that point when we decided to change our" PRINT "name to Froware Software from Brian Q Programming. We wanted to loose" PRINT "that 'a-roo' reputation, but we still use it occassionally, especially" PRINT "on sequels of games that originally used 'a-roo'. Anyway, this game is" PRINT "very simple to play, but pretty tough to win. You'll have to play a few" PRINT "times before you can win it. It's easy! Just pick the number of your" PRINT "your choice for each situation. You can also put 9 in to quit the game." PRINT "There are 10 levels, and they get harder as you go on. Level 10 has 5" PRINT "choices instead of 4 to make it really hard. Hope you enjoy it!" PRINT "Want some history on the Rally in the Valley games? Here's some facts!" PRINT "--Rally in the Valley 1: The Secret of Westwood was never finished!" PRINT "--Rally in the Valley 2: Return to Gologtha was a Catholic trivia game" PRINT " and also wasn't finished!!" PRINT "So, why is this one part 3 if the others never were finished?...good question!" PRINT "" PRINT "Send all comments to fromanthegreat@yahoo.com" PRINT "" PRINT "" PRINT "Hit any key to continue..." SLEEP 1 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 1--JOEL HAS GONE RECTUMRY!" PRINT "Parking Lot, St. Philip's the Apostle Church, Saddle Brook, 8:31 am" PRINT "You are BILL" PRINT "Situation--Joel's inside making copies...what joke should we play? It" PRINT "can't be something too bad, cause he'll get too pissed. But then again" PRINT "we can't be dorky...what to do???" PRINT "--PICK A CHOICE FROM BELOW--" PRINT "1-Chain Belt to the Rectory's front door!" PRINT "2-Hop up and down outside his window." PRINT "3-Start shouting 'Hey, those aren't balloons, put those away!' when Joel comes." PRINT "4-Tell all the old ladies 'Hey, we're closed today!'" INPUT "What now!"; first% LOCATE 15, 1 IF first% = 9 THEN END IF first% < 1 OR first% > 4 THEN GOTO 1 IF first% = 1 THEN PRINT "Joel tries to comes out...and he can't. Uhh, oh...He looks pissed! You're dead!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF first% = 2 THEN PRINT "He thinks you're really lame. That was gay. You're shot for your fruitness!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF first% = 4 THEN PRINT "The 'old bag' takes her 'bag' and begins to curse and hit you! You lose!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF first% = 3 THEN PRINT "A wave of laughter hits the gang and Joel! Cool move! You move on!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!" SLEEP 2 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 2--BAGELS AND WHEELS!" PRINT "Bagels R Us, Parking Lot, Saddle Brook, 8:40 am" PRINT "You are BRIAN" PRINT "Situation--Joel is getting bagels and Bill wants another joke played!" PRINT "Parking Joel's Car is a lot harder than it looks! What to do to avoid any" PRINT "police involement in this slighty-illegal act...Bill forced me to do it!" PRINT "I swear!...what does that button do again?" PRINT "--PICK A CHOICE FROM BELOW--" PRINT "1-Shout 'Buckle Your Seat Belts...we're getting the [bleep] outta here!'" PRINT "2-Slam the gas and ram the glass (of the bagel place)" PRINT "3-Say 'I can't do this...I'm a [bleepy]!'" PRINT "4-Pull the wheel hard over...and lose your lunch on the steering wheel" INPUT "What now!"; second% LOCATE 16, 1 IF second% = 9 THEN END IF second% < 1 OR second% > 4 THEN GOTO 2 IF second% = 1 THEN PRINT "You check your mirror...you see Joel...oh boy...": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF second% = 2 THEN PRINT "[Bleep!] I hope he's got some decent insurance...this sucks for me!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF second% = 3 THEN PRINT "You're laughed at by all, even Joel who sees you. Someone throws a diaper!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF second% = 4 THEN PRINT "You meekly make it into the other space...and the puke looks no different then": PRINT "all that other crap on the floor of his car! Cool!": LOCATE 21, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP 3 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 3-COMEBACK KID" PRINT "Somewhere on the Parkway in Ho-Ho-Kus, 8:56 am" PRINT "You are JOEL" PRINT "Situation--Bill is telling everyone his crazy stories about the Ho-Ho-Kus" PRINT "train station. Throw a laugh in the car by putting Bill underneath your" PRINT "joke. So, what did Bill really tell that cop? You tell them..." PRINT "--PICK A CHOICE FROM BELOW--" PRINT "1-Was it, 'Didja hear, poop in your pants is up for re-election this year'" PRINT "2-Was it, 'You wife really likes my feces'" PRINT "3-Was it, 'You know, you can spell poop backwards and it's the same word!'" PRINT "4-Was it, 'Ever try to make a poop slingshot?'" INPUT "which one, chief"; third% LOCATE 15, 1 IF third% = 9 THEN END IF third% < 1 OR third% > 4 THEN GOTO 3 IF third% = 2 THEN PRINT "No, actually, it was YOUR wife who told me that one! You die of embarassment.": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF third% = 3 THEN PRINT "Bill says 'Everyone knows that...it's not even funny anymore.' That sucks!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF third% = 4 THEN PRINT "Bill says 'Yeah...what's your point. That saved my life lots of times!'": PRINT "Bill makes everyone laugh and you cry cause your jokes suck!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF third% = 1 THEN PRINT "Everyone laughs hysterical and Bill has no come-comeback. Great job, dude!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP 4 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 4-YOU [BLEEPING] HIPPIE!" PRINT "You are in the Valley at the Rally in Westwood, 9:37 am" PRINT "You are ED" PRINT "Situation--You are surrounded by these, these things! How can you avoid" PRINT "grave embarassment here. This day could totally suck unless you figure" PRINT "out how to save yourself! These songs and crazy and this dance, uh...help!" PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--" PRINT "1-Shout 'Let's Rock, Yeah, Joel, [BLEEP!]" PRINT "2-Make some comment about the Jewish Deli Lady" PRINT "3-Kick the speakers out" PRINT "4-Show Bill where the train tracks are" INPUT "What now!"; fourth% LOCATE 15, 1 IF fourth% = 9 THEN END IF fourth% < 1 OR fourth% > 4 THEN GOTO 4 IF fourth% = 1 THEN PRINT "Some guy doesn't like your profanity and kicks you in the nuts! You die!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF fourth% = 3 THEN PRINT "Bill takes you over to the speakers and you blow them out. That guitar guy": PRINT "with the ponytail looks really pissed. Uh...oh.": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF fourth% = 4 THEN PRINT "The results of this choice are obvious: 15-20 years for manslaughter...": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF fourth% = 2 THEN PRINT "Hey! That went over pretty well. This place is almost cool now. Almost...": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!" SLEEP 5 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 5--FRIEND OR FOE?" PRINT "Deep into Rally in the Valley, Westwood, 10:06 am" PRINT "You are LISA" PRINT "Situation--Damn. This place is getting annoying. My feet hurt. Time to make" PRINT "some new friends. Figure out what to do quickly, without fricking it up!" PRINT "--PICK A CHOICE FROM DOWN HERE--" PRINT "1-Shout 'Hey, we've got lesbians over here!'" PRINT "2-Run around the crowd in nothing but a bunch of leaves" PRINT "3-Ask Bill to find you some new friends" PRINT "4-Fit into the crowd by watching and imitatating Joel's groovy dance" INPUT "Damn! What now!"; fifth% LOCATE 14, 1 IF fifth% = 9 THEN END IF fifth% < 1 OR fifth% > 4 THEN GOTO 5 IF fifth% = 1 THEN PRINT "Those lesbians know how to punch! [BLEEP]. This hurts!!": LOCATE 18, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF fifth% = 2 THEN PRINT "Yeah, right, well as soon as you get to the far end, a piece of Westwood comes": PRINT "and kicks your arboral ass! Dude!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF fifth% = 3 THEN PRINT "Bill brings you a bagel from the Jewish Lady. Not exactly what you had in mind.": LOCATE 18, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF fifth% = 4 THEN PRINT "Hey! It actually works! Dude! This dance stuff is like almost fun...yeah.": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP 6 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 6--BILL ON THE TOWN" PRINT "Downtown Westwood, 10:51 am" PRINT "You are BILL" PRINT "Situation--The Rally is cool, but it's about time you cause some real havoc" PRINT "on this nice, suburban community. What to do to make this place really know" PRINT "that Bill of 1710 AM is back in town..." PRINT "--TAKE ONE OF THESE--" PRINT "1-Find the nearest sub station and make half the town lose electricity" PRINT "2-The classic penny on the train tracks derailment thing" PRINT "3-Car Bomb the library" PRINT "4-Clog the toilets in the Rail Station Bathroom" INPUT "What next!?!"; sixth% LOCATE 15, 1 IF sixth% = 9 THEN END IF sixth% < 1 OR sixth% > 4 THEN GOTO 6 IF sixth% = 2 THEN PRINT "The train flattens the penny...that really sucked. You petrify due to boredom.": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF sixth% = 3 THEN PRINT "The library blow up and the books hit that fat priest on stage. He kills you!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF sixth% = 4 THEN PRINT "The stench builds up too bad and you can't get out fast enough! You can't": PRINT "breath!! You die due to asphyixation!!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF sixth% = 1 THEN PRINT "Nice work!! Power's out, you're laughing, good idea!! Maybe now you can work": PRINT "on getting the othert half of town out, huh!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP 7 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 7--OPERATION: RESCUE BILL" PRINT "Rally in the Valley, Westwood, 11:32 am" PRINT "You are BRIAN" PRINT "Situation--Dude, we got a problem. It's time to go soon and Bill still isn't" PRINT "back yet! Where should we check to find him the quickest without wasting" PRINT "time and/or our lives!" PRINT "--ONE OF THESE MAN--" PRINT "1-Gather up to crowd to do some fancy search and rescue operation" PRINT "2-Take Joel's car (again) and look for him" PRINT "3-Go to a sub station or train station: whichever is closer" PRINT "4-Go directly to Kmart (do not pass go, do not collect $200)" INPUT "What now!"; seventh% LOCATE 15, 1 IF seventh% = 9 THEN END IF seventh% < 1 OR seventh% > 4 THEN GOTO 7 IF seventh% = 1 THEN PRINT "Those guys only wanna sing and dance! Rats! They eat you alive!!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF seventh% = 2 THEN PRINT "You back out and smash into the Jewish Deli! Gefiltafish anyone?": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF seventh% = 4 THEN PRINT "You run directly there...but get run over in the process. They really need": PRINT "one of those walk/don't walk signs here!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF seventh% = 3 THEN PRINT "Of, course! You check Bill's normal hangouts and you bring him back to the": PRINT "rally. Almost over, dude!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP 8 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 8--WHAT THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU DOING, MAN!!" PRINT "Parkway Onramp, Ho-Ho-Kus/Washington Twp. Border, 12:03 pm" PRINT "You are JOEL" PRINT "Situation--You leave the Rally towards the end. Time to get home! You speed" PRINT "along nicely at 30 mph getting on the Parkway, when suddenly Bill opens his" PRINT "door!! How do you react to this unusual occurance without sounding gay!" PRINT "--ONE OF THESE--" PRINT "1-Say 'What the [BLEEP] are you trying to [BLEEPING] do, you [BLEEPHOLE!]'" PRINT "2-Keep on drving...that happened...didn't notice" PRINT "3-Open your door...if you get the correct angle the car can lift off!!" PRINT "4-Say 'Bill, one suicide attempt is enough for today!" INPUT "Dude! What now!"; eighth% LOCATE 15, 1 IF eighth% = 9 THEN END IF eighth% < 1 OR eighth% > 4 THEN GOTO 8 IF eighth% = 1 THEN PRINT "Bill gets scared and jumps out!! Ouchies! You go after him! More ouchies!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF eighth% = 2 THEN PRINT "Everyone else does it then! The car hits some wind, loses control and": PRINT "explodes into a fiery wreck. That really sucks!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF eighth% = 3 THEN PRINT "You take off, but can't stay powered up there! You land on another car and": PRINT "cause a huge accident! Dude! That really hurts!": LOCATE 20, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF eighth% = 4 THEN PRINT "Bill says 'ok, I guess' while everyone else laughs! Nice move!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP 9 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 9--GIVE ME K-ROCK OR GIVE ME DEATH!" PRINT "On the Parkway in Oradell/Paramus, 12:10 pm" PRINT "You are ED" PRINT "Situation--Hey! We need some decent music to end this day out! How do we" PRINT "convince Joel that we need some good rock instead of that old stuff. But" PRINT "be careful: Joel gets violent while driving!" PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--" PRINT "1-Tell him all the other stations are gay or lesbians singers" PRINT "2-Reach on over and turn it on" PRINT "3-Ask Bill to put something good on" PRINT "4-Whine and complain to get it on" INPUT "So, what'll it be?"; ninth% LOCATE 15, 1 IF ninth% = 9 THEN END IF ninth% < 1 OR ninth% > 4 THEN GOTO 9 IF ninth% = 2 THEN PRINT "As you reach over, Joel slams his fists through your skull! Dude!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF ninth% = 3 THEN PRINT "Bill turns on old stuff. Real old. You die due to bleeding ears!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF ninth% = 4 THEN PRINT "Joel can't drive with your crying and hits a telephone pole. You bleed!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF ninth% = 1 THEN PRINT "He screams loudly and quickly puts on K-Rock. Good Deal!!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP 10 CLS PRINT "LEVEL 10--ATTENTION QUEERS: JOEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING" PRINT "Somewhere on Elmwood Drive, Elmwood Park, 12:29 pm" PRINT "You are LISA" PRINT "Situation--Time to say good-bye to all these losers, I mean cool people." PRINT "How do say 'Adios' without making them think that you are some type of" PRINT "maniac, faggot, or weirdo...or really annoying or gay or something" PRINT "--CHOOSE FROM BELOW--" PRINT "1-Say 'My last words today are: Poop in the Pants'" PRINT "2-Say 'It's been a pleasure to spend the day with such...such...queers'" PRINT "3-Say 'I have places to go, people to do...'" PRINT "4-Say 'This day has hurt me more than you'" PRINT "5-Say 'Uh...bye'" INPUT "Dude! What now!"; tenth% LOCATE 15, 1 IF tenth% = 9 THEN END IF tenth% < 1 OR tenth% > 5 THEN GOTO 10 IF tenth% = 1 THEN PRINT "While these are true, they're not parting words. So, in turn, you die!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF tenth% = 2 THEN PRINT "They run you over after you get out....Ouch!!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF tenth% = 4 THEN PRINT "They believe you!! That's not a good last impression!!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF tenth% = 3 THEN PRINT "Nobody understands you...neither do you...then you fall off a cliff!!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "FATALITY!": END IF tenth% = 5 THEN PRINT "Oh course! You always talk like that, so it's normal and you win!!": LOCATE 19, 15: PRINT "SUCCESS!!": SLEEP CLS PRINT "YOU WON!!!! Great, job. This is a really tough game!! Thanks so much for" PRINT "playing! I hope you enjoyed it. Cotillion-a-roo '99 is coming soon and it" PRINT "will be bigger and better than this badboy. So, stay tuned!! Now, the" PRINT "credits..." PRINT "" PRINT "" PRINT "CREATED, DEVELOPED, DEBUGGED, AND TESTED BY" PRINT "Brian J. Frugis, Jr. (not gay)" PRINT "" PRINT "" PRINT "Many special thanks to..." PRINT "Joel S. Peters (also not gay), Lisa, Bill (thanks for the calzones), Ed," PRINT "that Jewish deli lady, the town of Westwood, God (almost forgot Him), that park," PRINT "those Rally people (maybe not gay?), the guys who did the stations, my parents" PRINT "and you, for playing..." PRINT "" PRINT "" PRINT "Froware Software Productions 1999" PRINT "Completed between April 2 and April 6, 1999" 'Final Line Count: 290 lines (big huh!)